How to take Control of your Life

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Dear Friend,

Last month we touch basis on “Who Am I” and how to obtain the right self esteem a little bit deeper in order to move forward in being our true selves. This month April lessons we will learn how to make the right choices for our lives. No more limits: No more viticmhood. What do you want? What’s a right choice and how do you know if you’re making one? Well, a right choice is a decision you make because your intuition tells you it’s the right option for you, regardless of what other people say, or regardless of what other voices tells you such as the fearful voice inside your own mind.

Let’s get started…

What do you want from life? Many people struggle with this question. Maybe you do too? Life can get so busy that we don’t have time to really think about what we want out of life. And when we do find what we want, it can seem impossible to achieve it.

In the last few years, I’ve given a lot of thought to the question: What makes one happy? In reality there are hundreds of ways to make one happy. However, I believe the most important aspect to one’s life is to overcome people approval thus happiness will follow.

I think that, on the whole, the people who make their own choices and decisions about their life are the most content, grateful, and living in total bliss. These individuals are the ones who do what they love and love what they do.

They are not concerned with making other people happy by doing what they want at every given moment- so they want be mad or disappointed in them. No, they are original! These people plan their schedules with activities they love and that bring them joy. These people are unconcern with what other people think of them and their opinions do not matter.

I did a lot of thinking during my Quarterlife Crisis Seasons and below are some of the things I considered to help me get through my cluttered thinking.

These strategies will help you develop the right perspective to control your life:

Step 1: What does it mean to control your life?

Before you take control of your life you first must understand what “taking control” means.
Taking control of life simply means is that you have a certain level of confidence in your chances. It simply means that you feel that you have a higher probability that by doing x work you will get y results.

Step 2:  Inside and Outside Control

I was doing some reading one day when I came across this quote:

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”
-Wayne Dyer

This quote seems very simple but if you analyze it, this quote has a very deep message.

You can’t always control what happens around you but you can control is what you do about it. You can control your thoughts and you can control your emotions and through this you can control your surroundings and external factors.

So whenever you face a stressful problem that is out of your reach, do as much as you can on your own.

Take full control of yourself first and you will find that the external factors you can’t control will automatically begin to fill in.

Through this concept I learned that we limit ourselves from living a life of happiness because we are afraid to make changes. Can you eliminate the negative elements in your life and start to walk towards a life you love?

Step 3: Stop Blaming Others

People have a habit to blame others for problems in their life.
So if you want to take control of your surroundings and eventually your life hold yourself accountable for everything. This way rather than blaming others you will discover your role in the problem and therefore when you know how to fix the problem, you will feel you have more control over it.

 Step 4: You can’t Control Everything

You simply can’t control everything. So if you are trying to control everything you are out of luck, as this task is impossible.

You only have complete control over yourself and by applying this control over yourself you will gain control over your external factors.

For example you can look at life and death. You are not able to control when you will die but what you can control is eating healthy and doing things safely so you can live longer. Understand your limits. People have a greater ability to make excuses than to make decisions. it is easier to negate responsibility and avoid confrontation. it is easier to look at an obstacle than to remain focused on the goal. It is more natural for most people to complain about their life than it is for them to make changes.

Step 5: Simplify your Life

To take control of your life you must first be able to maneuver your life easily. So if you can make your life more organized, you will have greater control over your life.

Step 6: Be informed about your Surroundings

If you are well aware about what is going on around you, you will feel calmer and more in control. This happens because once you remove this fog of uncertainty out of your life your vision is enhanced and you are able to plan ahead. By planning ahead you will take control of your life. Say good-bye to relationships that are holding you back. Claim your life. Claim your happiness. Create your life while you still have the chance. Make choices that empower and change the world. Then you will begin to see that you have change yourself in the process.

I hope this helps. Till next time!!!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya