How to take Control of your Life

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Dear Friend,

Last month we touch basis on “Who Am I” and how to obtain the right self esteem a little bit deeper in order to move forward in being our true selves. This month April lessons we will learn how to make the right choices for our lives. No more limits: No more viticmhood. What do you want? What’s a right choice and how do you know if you’re making one? Well, a right choice is a decision you make because your intuition tells you it’s the right option for you, regardless of what other people say, or regardless of what other voices tells you such as the fearful voice inside your own mind.

Let’s get started…

What do you want from life? Many people struggle with this question. Maybe you do too? Life can get so busy that we don’t have time to really think about what we want out of life. And when we do find what we want, it can seem impossible to achieve it.

In the last few years, I’ve given a lot of thought to the question: What makes one happy? In reality there are hundreds of ways to make one happy. However, I believe the most important aspect to one’s life is to overcome people approval thus happiness will follow.

I think that, on the whole, the people who make their own choices and decisions about their life are the most content, grateful, and living in total bliss. These individuals are the ones who do what they love and love what they do.

They are not concerned with making other people happy by doing what they want at every given moment- so they want be mad or disappointed in them. No, they are original! These people plan their schedules with activities they love and that bring them joy. These people are unconcern with what other people think of them and their opinions do not matter.

I did a lot of thinking during my Quarterlife Crisis Seasons and below are some of the things I considered to help me get through my cluttered thinking.

These strategies will help you develop the right perspective to control your life:

Step 1: What does it mean to control your life?

Before you take control of your life you first must understand what “taking control” means.
Taking control of life simply means is that you have a certain level of confidence in your chances. It simply means that you feel that you have a higher probability that by doing x work you will get y results.

Step 2:  Inside and Outside Control

I was doing some reading one day when I came across this quote:

“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”
-Wayne Dyer

This quote seems very simple but if you analyze it, this quote has a very deep message.

You can’t always control what happens around you but you can control is what you do about it. You can control your thoughts and you can control your emotions and through this you can control your surroundings and external factors.

So whenever you face a stressful problem that is out of your reach, do as much as you can on your own.

Take full control of yourself first and you will find that the external factors you can’t control will automatically begin to fill in.

Through this concept I learned that we limit ourselves from living a life of happiness because we are afraid to make changes. Can you eliminate the negative elements in your life and start to walk towards a life you love?

Step 3: Stop Blaming Others

People have a habit to blame others for problems in their life.
So if you want to take control of your surroundings and eventually your life hold yourself accountable for everything. This way rather than blaming others you will discover your role in the problem and therefore when you know how to fix the problem, you will feel you have more control over it.

 Step 4: You can’t Control Everything

You simply can’t control everything. So if you are trying to control everything you are out of luck, as this task is impossible.

You only have complete control over yourself and by applying this control over yourself you will gain control over your external factors.

For example you can look at life and death. You are not able to control when you will die but what you can control is eating healthy and doing things safely so you can live longer. Understand your limits. People have a greater ability to make excuses than to make decisions. it is easier to negate responsibility and avoid confrontation. it is easier to look at an obstacle than to remain focused on the goal. It is more natural for most people to complain about their life than it is for them to make changes.

Step 5: Simplify your Life

To take control of your life you must first be able to maneuver your life easily. So if you can make your life more organized, you will have greater control over your life.

Step 6: Be informed about your Surroundings

If you are well aware about what is going on around you, you will feel calmer and more in control. This happens because once you remove this fog of uncertainty out of your life your vision is enhanced and you are able to plan ahead. By planning ahead you will take control of your life. Say good-bye to relationships that are holding you back. Claim your life. Claim your happiness. Create your life while you still have the chance. Make choices that empower and change the world. Then you will begin to see that you have change yourself in the process.

I hope this helps. Till next time!!!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

What should I do with my life?

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Dear Friend,

What should I do with my life?

This is the one universal question that thousands of people every day ask themselves. But the thing is, nobody ever has a clear answer.

 So now what?

Well before you start you first must understand that I or anybody else for that matter can’t answer this question for you. Only you know your own likes and dislikes and only you know who you truly are. 
So now to begin on discovering your life purpose, think about this question:

If you were a multi-millionaire what would you do? … Just think about it for a bit….

Would you buy a bookstore...?
Would you start a child’s clothing brand...?
Would you make art masterpieces…?

Or would you do something crazy like jump off of cliffs into the sea for your enjoyment...?

Well the truth is it doesn’t really matter what you would do? After all everybody does have different likes and dislikes.  All that this question allows you to do is think outside of the box. It allows you to be unrestricted in your thinking.

That is what the whole concept in this question is about: to make yourself unrestricted in your thinking and to allow yourself to think bigger than life.

Let me explain.

Thing is people restrict themselves to a handful of choices when deciding their futures; this leads them to be stumped when it comes to the point of deciding what they will do for their entire lives.

Don’t limit yourself to closed thinking. Life is a highway, not a one lane road.

So there never really is a set path in life, just a lot of different dynamics that are connected. It’s time to take the shackles off your mind. We’re creating our own prisons and making them tolerable. We are afraid to live a life we love.

Many people would rather complain about not knowing their life purpose- then doing the work necessary to look within to see what gifts and talents we have that can bring a positive contributes to the world. That’s what life purpose is all about folks. Seeking within to find your bliss and helping someone who is suffering with your gift.

The gift comes in many forms:

Teaching: can you teach someone how to read or write? Maybe even cook!

Compassion: can give a kind a word to someone who is hurt. Can you give a lonely person a hug?

Listening: Can you stop by a friend house and just listen to them vet about a problem they are feeling stuck with?

Cooking: can you cook your neighbor a meal, or give the kids a snack after school if you are aware of their parent’s financial problems. Every little gesture helps!

Cleaning and organizing: Can you offer a helping hand to a elderly neighbor or, maybe a grandparent that’s getting too old to dust or manage their household.

Your question of what you should do in your life, Is completely dependent on your likes and goals so all you have to do is find a median between both to find your life purpose.

 Just remember you must make the decision based on your unique life.

Here is a quote to help you on your journey of self-exploration:

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.  ~Doug Larson

Think big, think open and good luck! In always remember your purpose always has to do with helping someone!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

Why Am I Not Happy

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Dear Friend,

Nobody on this earth can describe what happiness truly is, yet everybody claims to have experienced it.

Why do you think it’s like that? It’s because the majority of people on this planet don’t understand the psychology behind happiness.

People believe that happiness is acquired from gaining things and that happiness is directly correlated with what they do in their lives. They feel that happiness is just like the other cause and effects in this world, and that a certain thing that they acquire or gain will in effect bring them happiness.

They are so wrong.

Happiness is something which is not quantifiable. You can be the richest person on earth or the poorest yet your levels of happiness could be the same.

The reason why? Happiness is a mentality it isn’t something which can be bought or purchased, it’s something which must be learnt and cultured; it’s all in your head.

This takes us to the question for today: Why Am I not Happy?
You are not happy in your life, only because you choose to be unhappy. It isn’t because of your failures or because of your losses, you are unhappy because of your perspective.

You are unhappy because you are looking at life with the wrong lens. You must grasp the concept that happiness is a mentality and that only you have control over whether you are happy or not.

During our lifetime their will be tons of situations that will make us unhappy and disappointed. As I pointed out earlier you are not happy in your life, only because you choose to be unhappy. We have to move forward in our lives. Many days will be peaceful, however many will not.

In order for us to move forward we must have a certain mindset. This state should not change unless you want it to change. No one can control how you see or feel about things but you. Therefore you control what state of mind you wish to be in at every moment.

So what now?

Well it’s time to bring awareness in your life. You must prioritize and put happiness at the top of your list. You must realize that knowingly or unknowingly the thing that drives everybody in life is the pursuit for true happiness.

This is now your moment to take control of your life. Change your perception and look at life with a big perspective. Realize what makes you happy and pursue it.

Understand the psychology of happiness, understand your psychology and before you know it you will be happy again. Your state depends on you. What mood do you prefer happiness or sadness? The choice is yours!

"All the happiness you ever find lies in you."

I hope this helps. Till next time!!!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

How do I Find Happiness: Things I learned in Life to Find Happiness

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Dear Friend,

Beneath all of man’s common wishes, there is always a strong desire for true happiness.

 This desire for happiness is what turns this world round and makes us function day in and day out, but there is one question?

If everybody wants happiness and everybody searches for it then why can’t everybody find it?

The main reason why is that most people look for happiness with the wrong perspective and they don’t see beyond what is right in front of them. There is a certain technique to it.

These steps will help you find happiness in your life:

Step 1:  Find Your True Self

Everybody has different goals, different ambitions and different emotions; then how is possible that everybody can have the same path to happiness.

It’s not. Happiness is unique to everybody and therefore everybody must find their own way.

So before you can even start finding happiness you must first understand true self and truly find out who you are. Through self discovery you can find your way and what truly makes you happy.

Step 2: Understand What Makes You Happy

If you completed the first step this should come easy to you.

What are your desires in life? You can try listing them or even saying them out loud but the main point is that you get your thoughts out of your head and into the real world.

This will help you get your thoughts straight and into perspective. Only then can you move forward toward a life of genuine bliss.

Step 3:  Focus and Plan

If you know what you want than what are you waiting for? Chase your desires. Happiness is not something that will come to you; you have to go out and take it.

This goal setting alone will make you feel better because when you mentally know that you are prepared for something you value; you will feel happier just knowing. Once the goal is set you must take action in the direction of those goals. Under each goal write three action steps you can make today towards making that goal happen.

For example: Write a novel
1. Writing a plot
2. Writing an outline
3. Creating characters

Step 4:  Ditch the Theatrics

Stop worrying and stressing over useless things; if you know what is important to you than there are no reasons to worry about everything.

Note: This doesn’t mean you become self-centered and ignore people. It simply means you bring the useless worrying down a notch and focus more on yourself.

Step 5: Find Out What Success Mean to You

Don’t measure yourself to other people’s standards. Make your own standards and build from that. The meaning of success is different for everybody and you must find your own.  
Remember “how successful you think you are” and “happiness” goes hand in hand.

 Step 6: Focus on the Positives in Life

There are “always” more positives in life than negatives.

So whenever you face a difficult situation don’t get swallowed in your own self-pity. Focus on the positives in your life and move on. Your choices help to create the existence you are experiencing now. So what is the intention behind your choices? Move forward!

 Step 7: Understand That You Deserve Happiness

Don’t stop yourself from being happy, you have the right to experience happiness just as the next person.
We must realize that we make choices every day in our lives. A choice either moves you forward or backward. It either pushes you toward happiness or toward pain.

Don’t make excuses for yourself and give yourself what you are due.

I hope this helps. Till next time!!!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

How to be a better you

                                                           Image Credit Google Image

Dear Friend,

You should always strive to become better. This is the only way you can achieve success and it is also the only way to achieve happiness.

Just remember change comes from within and only you have the power to revitalize yourself and change your life.

Here are some ways to become a “better you”:

Step 1: Become a self-motivator

All successful people have this in common: they are self-motivators.

If you want to better yourself, you need to be able to pick yourself up when life goes tough. You need to be able to stay positive, stay optimistic and be able to fuel yourself.

Step 2: Become more flexible

Recognize that Life is not meant to be perfect. Things will not always go your way and you are going to have to deal with hitches in the road. Besides by chasing perfection you are only leading yourself for ruin.

Also, don’t set strict restrictions on yourself. If you enclose yourself in a square, your life will become square and rigid.  Become more flexible with yourself, with your failures, with your goals and with every other aspect of your life.

Step 3: Boost your Confidence

Boosting your confidence is the vital step in becoming better; your level of confidence defines your life. It is your confidence which is the driving force behind everything you do.
So if you increase your confidence, you will increase your potential, and then if you increase your potential you will increase your chances of success.
This in return will better your life.

Love yourself

I mean this in all the literal sense. Love yourself to the point where you are happy with whom you are.
- Louise Hay

Be happy with your looks, your intelligence, and all your other characteristics.
-LeToya White

This will make you more satisfied with yourself and will resultantly better your life.

Good Luck in becoming a better you!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this

too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

Overcome Regrets

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Dear Friend,

The number one problem in life today is that we feel sorry for ourselves. Feeling guilty for things we cannot change. Regret like guilt, keeps us focused on the past. Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought to yourself: What am I doing here? Is this really my life? Why am I afraid of what people think of me? Would my life circumstances be better if I had moved to another city?

Regret is a part of the human experience. The word “regret” originates from the Middle English word regreet, meaning “to lament” or to feel sorry.” Our regrets may serve as wonderful opportunities from which we can learn, or they may become slayers of our self-esteem and hold us back from future opportunities. When we rehash our past decisions over and over in our minds, we can create regrets that corrode our present lives.

Another type of regret besets people who are afraid to take risks. Perhaps they don’t have enough self-esteem to believe in themselves. Perhaps they fear responsibility, especially for making decisions or doing the necessary work to succeed. These individuals may regret taking the easy way out, never testing themselves or their abilities. They may fall into an emotional slump and be overcome with self-pity, resentment, anger, and depression.

Many people ask me where regret comes from. My first thought is that regret stems from lost experiences. In hindsight, we feel we missed a chance to do or be something wonderful or meaningful.

To overcome this limited belief we must first know that we are powerless over the past. The past is gone, and we cannot get it back. Second, we must understand that our power only lies in the present moment. Now is the time to weigh our current circumstances. Third we must take the time to reevaluate our values and goals, and begin to make decisions that will foster the lives we want to live.

With this said, I beg for you to forgive and lead a life of compassion and let go of your emotional baggage and move on to the next stage in your spiritual journey. Amend your actions and move forward with joy in your heart not regret.

“I’d rather look forward and dream, than look backward and regret.”-Anonymous

I hope this helps. Till next time!!!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

What Choice Do I Have?

                                   Image Credit Google Images

Hello Friend,

Victimhhood is an unhealthy pattern that’s often hard to break, because an individual get so accustomed to being the victim. It’s the easier; softer way to live for many people. The truth is when living in victim mode, you get sympathy, you’re the center of attention, you have a valid excuse for not taking responsibility for your feelings or your actions, little is expected of you, and you feel justified for being depressed.

Many people use their race, gender, and childhood circumstances as excuse for feeling like a victim. Whenever anyone will listen they share their sob story. And, they used that story as an excuse to be angry-all the time. The truth is we all have our own sob stories, but at some point we have to take responsibility to turn our condition around.

At what point does one take the responsibility to recognize that they helped to create some of what happened to them because of the choices they made? I’ll tell you, when we choose to relinquish our right of choice, we are making a choice. This also relates to when we make no decision at all. But making no decision is making a decision to give someone else the power, and the problem with that is we rarely like the choices others make for us.

The bottom line is we make choices everyday about how we want to live, about ho we want to have, and we make choices every day about how we want to feel. And everyday we and other people feel the effects of those choices. Sometimes, added stress, strained relationships, and fewer desirable opportunities are among the consequences we pay.

That point is one of life’s greatest gifts comes when we realize we have the power to make our own choices, and therefore direct our lives.

Real Talk: It is very easy to see ourselves as victims. It is easy to do whatever we want in life, and then blame someone else for the outcome. However, it takes real courage to choose wisely and to take responsibility for our choices.

Today I want you to think about your “Free Will” what does it mean to you? What do you want out of life? If money was no issue what would you do or have? Stop right now and create a “Dream List” write down at least 25 things you’d most like to do.

“You and only you have the power to move your life forward. You don’t have to feel like a victim of life’s circumstances”-LeToya White

I hope this helps. Till next time!!!

Love and Blessing

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

What Limits Our Choices?

                       

          Image Credit Google Image                                                       

Hello Friend,

Today I want to bring awareness to limitations. Many people think their life is awful because they have no opportunity. That concept is far from true. The truth is we have opportunities everyday. But we choose not to see or take them when they are offered to us.

See, many things limits your choices to a greater or lesser degree; your feelings, other people’s judgments, other people’s power, family commitments, lack of money, and restricted time are just a few.

Hating ourselves and feeling disconnected from life and limited by what we feel is a lack of choice; a time in our lives when we feel stuck and unable to change our circumstances, are all patterns of limited thinking. When we feel this way we are driven by fear. We let fear paralyze us and alter our thinking patterns.

I learned a long time ago from the book written by David J. Schwartz “The Magic of Thinking Big” that dreams. They are what life is made of. They give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning and a reason to go to bed early at night, so you can wake up and start all over again. Dreams are also a choice. We can have them or we can continue with our same old patterns.

However, like anything worth having, dreaming takes work which often requires that you walk through something you’re afraid of. It also encourages you to step out of your comfort zone and go for what you really want.

We learned last month that we are what we believe. We create our reality based on what we think. However, the barrier that comes along to test us depends on the choices we make. You’ll encounter many obstacles along the road to living your dreams. Some obstacles may be real, some imagined, some may be tangible, and some may be intangible. Some of these obstacles will be created by others, and some will be self-imposed. However, they manifest, you will always be given the choice as to whether you give them power.

Despite the choices you make if you are driven by fear you will fail (AKA make a mistake) or resist to take action. The truth is it’s your fear that keeps you stuck in a job you hate. In a dysfunctional relationship or marriage. Or, your hands around the candy dish. The key to managing fear is to acknowledge it and walk through it. It’s the only way! There are no victims in this world only people who refuse to make choices and take responsibility for their lives.

Here are a few examples of how we limit our choices and hinder our decisions making process. Once you are aware try to eliminate these negative patterns and move forward into the choices that are right for you.

1. Addiction limits your choices. Whether it’s a person, a drug, a form of exercise, alcohol, or other habits, your addiction makes decisions for you.

When you’re addicted to anything, it’s the addition that’s in control, not you.

For example, suppose you are hooked on cigarettes or alcohol isn’t it your need for a smoke and drink that controls whose house you visit or when you take breaks at work. You wait until a certain time so you can go outside to get quick puff. You refuse to visit your sister house because she doesn’t allow any drinking or smoking.

Sometimes our addition of other people gets in the way of our choices. Other people may fear something so you decide not to do it either even though you thought it might be fun to try. Or, if you are obsessed with a person, how many times will you call him or her, trying to find out where the person is, as opposed to doing something that really needs your attention.

2. Fear is a major choice limiter. Although fear takes on many disguises we still let fear act as our choice definer. Fear of risk, fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of making a mistake, fear of being held accountable, fear of feeling inadequate, and fear of believing you really can’t do what you say you can do are many of the fears that surface.

Fear compels you to make choices that are designed to keep you out of harm’s way. And while these may be the easy choices they are not necessarily the right ones.

I once read a story from author Francine Ward her book Esteemable Acts brings a good point to how humans react to fear.

A spy was captured across enemy lines in a foreign land. The spy faced the captain, who was about to sentence him.

“In our country spying is punishable by death,” said the captain,

“I know,” said the spy.

The captain said, “I’ll give you two choices: You can die at the hands of the firing squad at dawn tomorrow or you can walk through that door.”

The captain pointed to a huge, ugly steel door with old rusty nails and bolts and grotesque carvings imbedded into it. Taking one look at the door, the spy gasped!” Can you give me until morning to decide? This is a hard choice to make.” The captain agreed and sent the spy back to his cell until dawn.

At daybreak, the spy was returned and the captain asked, “Have you made

your decision?”

The spy facing the captain said, “Yes, I have. Shoot me, because at least I know what I’m dealing with “The firing squad shot the spy.

Moments later a medical volunteer who had observed the incident asked the captain. “What was behind the door? What could have been worse than death?”

The captain responded, “Behind the door was freedom.”

Have you ever allowed your fear to convince you that you really didn’t want to do something? When in fact you did? It’s easy to talk about making right choices but how do you make them when the choices you’ve always made weren’t the best for you? You learn how to problem solve. Not make excuses or become a victim to circumstances.

How to Problem Solve…

1. Identify the problem…what is the issue that you’d like to solve?

2. Next, figure out what choices are you being asked to make? Sometimes people ask us to make choices. Sometimes our situation forces us into making choices. There may be times when you have to make decision immediately, and there are times when we are given an opportunity to sort it through. Nonetheless, a decision must be made.

3. To get started write in your journal to bring clarity. begin with the pros and cons then consider decisions to be made in all areas of your life.

5 Domains of Life

Personal

Professional

Relationships

Spiritual

Family

You can also add health and social life to your decisions. Ask the following questions:

What choices are there for you to make today?

What choices have you been avoiding, hoping they’d go away?

Take particular care to focus on an issue that bothers you every time you think about it.

What can you do right now in this moment to move you closer to making better choices? What one action are you willing to take right now?

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing

 LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

Here are a few examples of how we limit our choices and hinder our decisions making process. Once you are aware try to eliminate these negative patterns and move forward into the choices that are right for you.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

3 Instant Steps to Get Motivated

                                    Image Credit Google Image

Dear Friend,

The human brain is very easily influenced and therefore it is very easily distracted. This is why it is really hard to get motivated, even when you really want to do something.

So maybe you’re working on a Master Capstone project or have to clean the entire house. How do you instantly motivate yourself to get going?

You must change your way of thinking!

 Focus, Reflect and Remind yourself why.

This quick method should quickly motivate you to complete the task at hand.

1. Focus…Why is it important

Look at the big picture and clear your mind. You need to find direction again in whatever you are doing.

I find it best to use white paper with black marker, but use what is best for you. Write down:

- What you are doing.
- Why are you are doing it.
- How you plan on doing it
- When do you want to finish it by

This quick brainstorm will help you get thoughts out, clear your mind and get focus. It will also give you structure which is very beneficial in finding motivation. You can now begin building on this foundation and work on motivating yourself.

2. Reflect

This is the beginning of the actual motivation process. Close your eyes and reflect on past situations.

- Think about all the times when you faced a similar task.
- Think about the purpose behind why you did the task.
- Think about how you completed the task and in what format.
- Think about how long it took you to finish and how that affected you.

This reflection will give you a sort of benchmark score to compare your present task with. You will know where you did well, where you did badly and therefore you will know where to improve presently. Plus this reflection process will help you realize that you are capable of doing similar tasks and will give you motivation that you can do it.

3. Remind Yourself Why

This is the heart and soul of motivation.

What was the real reason why you started? What was the initial thing that drove you?

Find that initial fire again and keep it in your head as long as you are working on your task. Give yourself constant reminders and notices.

This reminder combined with your focus and structure will make you motivated once again.

Motivation, backed by good planning and correct action leads to success.

To learn more about organizing you can read the rest of Julie Morgenstern tips in her book Organizing From the Inside Out.

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing

Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya

4 Ways to Destroy Stress

                                                             Image Credit Google Image

Dear Friend,

Stress has become so common in our modern lives that people are beginning to accept it as the norm. The raw truth is quite troubling.

Stress has been linked to hundreds of physical diseases including heart disease, high blood pressure, chest pain and strokes.

Stress has been linked to contribute towards, alcoholism, obesity, suicide, drug addiction, cigarette addiction, and other harmful behaviors.

Stress has been linked to mental problems such as, inability to concentrate, loss of self-confidence, irrational fear and frequent anger.

Stress is destroying people’s lives, killing their mental peace and hurting their health. It is major issue, and unfortunately many people face stress on a day-to-day basis.

I learned from a great role model a long time ago that we create every so-called illness in our body. Louise Hay in her book You Can Heal Your Life explains that resentment, criticism, and guilt are the most damaging patterns. If we get rid of stress in these other damaging patterns we can heal our lives and move toward positive change.

Below are 4 strategies that will help you not just combat stress but eventually teaching you to destroy it.

Step 1: Take Life by the Reigns

Stop sitting on the sideline and take control of your life. Accountability is the first step to change.
Stress is the by product of things we should have done or should do. Therefore try take the “should” out of your life and replace it with did and done.

If you are able to manage your life and keep complete control over all that you do, you will reduce stress and eventually destroy it from your life.

"Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life." -Marilu Henner

Step 2: Reboot Your Perspective

Stress is a mental disease. You can try whatever physical remedies you want but you have to eventually have to tackle this problem “mentally”.
Recognize the power only you have. You must change your thinking!

• Only you have the power to control your thoughts.
• Only you decide whether you are worried or not.
• Only you can truly determine what you need or want next

If you can build a positive determined perspective you will gain the power to overcome anything.

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." - William James

Step 3: Face Opposition with Positive Thinking

Opposition is a normal part of life and you can’t live without ever experiencing it.

Therefore snap out of the “feeling sorry for yourself” attitude and tackle your opposition head on. Rather than quitting when it gets tough give yourself positive motivation and keep trudging forward. A day will come when you will realize that you were so caught up in removing the problem that you lost all the stress attached with it.

Just remember it all starts with positive thinking. These are some affirmation you can say to remind yourself when you face problems

• You can do this
• This isn’t hard
• I am stronger

"It’s not stress that kills us; it is our reaction to it." - Hans Selye

Step 4: Don’t Rush

Life is a process. You can never simply go from point A to point B. This type of perspective of I have to do such and such is the root cause for stress. Try to break your tasks and problems down and don’t pressure yourself to go from start to finish.

You will find that with this quick change in outlook you will greatly increase your mental peace and will remove a lot of unnecessary burden from your head.

"Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way." -Douglas Pagels

“Once you begin to learn to love yourself, everything else your life will work out.”

 -Louise Hay

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing

Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact me at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

 Things to think about, Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention? If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it help get out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing LeToya