10 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem

Dear Friend

Learning how to rebuild and maintain your self-esteem is essential to having a fulfilled life. There will always be things that come along and make you question if you are good enough. When that happens to you, using these tools will get you back in touch with your personal power.

1. Recognize and embrace your positive qualities. Make a list of all your assets including skills, experiences, physical and social resources, talents, and anything else that makes you feel good about yourself.

2. Learn to motivate yourself. Do not wait on the approval of others. Motivation is what propels you to the next level in life.

3. Trust that you are competent. Remind yourself of all the problems you have faced and tackled. Have faith that even if you cannot deal with a problem yourself that you will have the ingenuity to get the help, skills, or knowledge that you need.

4. Start exercising! Energy, in the form of positive feelings and deeds, feeds our minds and hearts. When you don't have energy, you can't feel good about yourself or anything else.

5. Dress up, comb your hair and wear makeup. - Love of self may be one of the most underutilized sources of self-esteem. We can be harder on ourselves than on any other person. When we think we are amazing our world reflect that attitude.

6. Believe in your own worth. Recognize that means making yourself a priority some of the time. Think of something you want to do and do it.

7. Remember that people and life circumstance doesn’t define us. Think back to most recent experience where you felt you fell short, made a mistake, or messed-up and force yourself to name five things that went right. We are not defined by any one thing but by the accumulation of our experiences and how we think they matter.

8. Trust must first be given to yourself. Your self-doubt works directly against your self-esteem. Believe that you are here for the right reasons and that your participation in life is valuable to those around you.

9. Strength is the key search for your inner power because using your inner resources to pull yourself up by your bootstraps will give you the sense that you can deal with anything life throws at you.

10. Look in a full size mirror and pick three things that you are looking at that make you feel good. For example, I love the color of my eyes. I love the length of my hair. I love my smile.

Learning to love and approve of yourself is a key which, will unlock your treasure chest of abundance, prosperity, and love. In al my letters you can see a theme of messages that lead to self approval and loving yourself. Without confidence and self approval we CANNOT survive the earth realm.

I always highly recommend that people love, love, love, love themselves, give themselves a hug, a pat on the back! You’re the best you there is in the whole world, there ain’t nobody else in the Universe quite like you! You are Amazin’ like we all are!!!!

Until Next time my friend!!!
Love and Blessing
Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact her at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

Things to think about...

Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention?

If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it will help get you out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing
LeToya

Part 1: Who am I?

Who Am I
Dear Friend,

This is a series of exercises that touch basis on January 2012 Post so if you are new to this site please go back in read the January 2012 post before completing any of these exercises.

Last month we touch basis on who you are, what you want, our choices to create our worlds begin with our thoughts and how to love and approve of ourselves. Well this month I would like to discuss the meaning of Who Am I and how to obtain the right self esteem a little bit deeper in order to move forward in being our true selves. You will need a journal or notebook to complete the exercises for this months post.

To start I am going to ask you a series of questions about your past to get you thinking about your prior life choices and where you currently stand today. Below is a list of questions that I asked women to reveal their inner truth.

1. Overall, how would you describe your twenties?
2. What were your goals during your twenties?
3. What were your primary interests in your twenties?
4. What were the three most fun and exciting aspects or events of your twenties?
5. What were the three most challenging aspect or events of your twenties?
6. If you could go back to your twenties, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? Do you have any regrets?

I focus on the twenties age group because we tend to have more focus and our choices are more in line with our heart desires. We tend to think we know it all when in fact we do not understand anything. However, we do live through our hearts meaning we do what is best for us. We tend to stop once we get married, have kids, and try to pursue our careers. Somewhere amongst the chaos we lose our true focus and sense of who we thought we were aiming to be. Therefore get stuck in a rut and hating our lives we have created.

Now look back at the list of questions and your answers. Do you see the things that you were meant to do but got side tracked somehow? Do you see what events made you exciting about life? Do you see the interest that drove you to a practically destination? Do you see how you over came challenges. If you could go back to your twenties, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? Do you have any regrets?

Over the past five years, I have had the amazing opportunity to hear from hundreds of women in various circumstances. After answering theses question many found themselves at their spiritual awe moment. They were open, honest, and willing to share deep personal thoughts. I hope these questions touch the center of your heart as well my friend.

Until Next time my friend!!!
Love and Blessing

Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact her at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

Things to think about...

Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention?

If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it will help get you out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing
LeToya

Part 2: Who Am I? How your Identity or The Role You Play Changes in Different Situations

How your Identity or The Role You Play Changes in Different Situations.

Dear Friend,

This is a series of exercises that touch basis on January 2012 Post so if you are new to this site please go back in read the January 2012 post before completing any of these exercises.

Last month we touch basis on who you are, what you want, our choices to create our worlds begin with our thoughts and how to love and approve of ourselves. Well this month I would like to discuss the meaning of Who Am I and how to obtain the right self esteem a little bit deeper in order to move forward in being our true selves. You will need a journal or notebook to complete the exercises for this months post.

Discovering that the answers to the question “Who Am I” can change depending on the context of our life path and experiences I would like to introduce another exercise that clarify our identity to bring our awareness into the present and identify which types of situations trigger chameleon behavior.

In this exercise you investigate if and how your identity or the role you play changes in different situations. As you read these questions notice the way you feel, or behave in the present of each individual. What is the first thing that comes to your mind? Do you feel the need to be loved or accepted? Do you need to feel important? Do you think you must behave in this manner because you do not feel good enough? No mater how subtle-in which way do you adapt, feel, or behave.

1. Who am I with my parents (separate your mom and dad if you want)?
2. Who am I with my friends?
3. Who am I with the rest of my family?
4. Who am I with men?
5. Who am I with someone I am dating/ in a serious relationship with/married to?
6. Who am I with my coworkers? Boss?
7. Who am I at work?
8. Who am I with someone who intimidates me?
9. Who am I with someone I don’t like?
10. Who am I with a group of people?
11. Who am I in social situations?
12. Who am I at a bar or party?

After completing this exercise, notice how you have adapted to situations or changed in the presence of others. Do you think those changes have for the most part been in line with who you are? Are there any masks that you might need to remove? A good way to answer theses questions is to ask yourself if the role you took on felt right.

The bottom line is in order to truly become who you are your “True Self” you must learn to set your mind and keep it set on your own desires and goals. You must also learn how to control your emotions and not let other people opinions and behavior shake your own decision and actions.

Effective Methods of Reducing Inappropriate Behaviour:

To do this you must learn how to become calm and not let other people behavior or opinions affect our responds. Our reactions must be in line with our own attitudes-not flexible to other peoples. This creates an experience that we do not want to experience and one that is not inappropriate in the first place. It causes us to become people pleaser!

Preventing negative reactions to situations is in your own hands. If you don't control your emotions, they will control you. Some effective methods of reducing inappropriate behaviour:

Who am I with my parents, friends and other family members?

If parents or other family members are pressuring you to do something you do not want to do just say “NO” I’m tired or my family already have plans for that weekend. Keep it simple and do not let anyone manipulate you to feeling obligated or guilty to attend a function or do something you do not feel up to doing. Stay strong and stable in your decisions.

Who am I at work with coworkers and boss?

If coworkers or your boss get overwhelming try to communicate with your boss and clarify your role depending on your situation, to respond positively to coworkers take a break and go outside to get some fresh air to clear your mind. If you have coworkers that talk too much or gossip tell them you really would like to talk but you have some work to catch up on or just change the subject put the focus on them people always like to talk about themselves when they aren’t talking about other people.

Who am I with men?

Most women get along find when there are with the opposite sex. However, you must be careful not to change your behavior in order to feel loved and accepted. Feelings of insecurity are the result of a poor self image and lack of self confidence. This is why I explain to women to love and approve of themselves in they will not have a need or void that need to be filled by other people. This void can be filled by “yourself” without the disappointment and rejection that comes along with letting your guard down with men in order to feel loved and accepted.

Who am I with someone I am dating/ in a serious relationship with/married to?

There are so many situations within a relationship or marriage that can make us unstable. In order to survive any relationship situation it all boils down to self confidence and communication. Learn how to be secure in your self and communicate your desires and you will be able to sustain any situation because you will not take it personal.

For example, let’s say someone flirts with your significant other if your communication skills are in order and you are secure in your self and your relationship there is no need to be jealousy or insecure. One of the root causes behind jealousy is being afraid. This fear can be a fear of ending up alone, a fear of being rejected or a fear of losing the love of your partner.

Another feelings of jealousy are your doubts about your abilities or skills. If you were one hundred percent sure of yourself you would have never suffered from any jealousy feelings. Therefore become secure in yourself because in reality you have every ability you need to keep and satisfy your man and if your communications skills are open you have no reason to respond or behave in any other way than you would usually behave.

Who am I with someone who intimidates me?

This is very simple do not compare yourself to other people because we all have the ability to achieve success in life. Look at it as they had a head start in awareness of what they wanted to do. Now rather than being intimidated find out what they did that worked and apply those habits to your own life. Look at them as inspiration not as a God they are only people who was persistence and focus. So are you!!!!

Who am I with someone I don’t like?

Learn to forgive it’s the only way to move forward. People will be people! You can’t change anyone and “you can’t make people get it.” Look at someone you don’t care for as a person stuck in a lower level of consciousness and you must forgive them in order for to spread your wings to fly to higher ground while they are stuck in the mud of unawareness.

Who am I with a group of people, at a bar, party or in a social situation?

I have learned a lot of people change their behavior because they need tons of attention. Well attention is great but not at the expense of others or to humiliate your character. In order to be the life of the party all is needed is a smile, to have fun and enjoy your self.

Doing inappropriate things to draw attention to your self is not the way to go. I must say crawling in a corner being isolated is not the way to go either. People don’t bite they are just as nervous as you are. Many people are to focus on themselves and how they appear to others that they don’t even notice you. So don’t shut down or whine yourself up to get notice just be your self and have fun.

Affirm daily:

“I claim high self-worth and self-esteem for myself. I love and appreciate myself on every level. I am not my parents, nor any addictive pattern they may have had. No matter what my past may have been, now in this moment I choose to eliminate all negative self-talk and to love and approve of myself. I am my own unique self, and I rejoice in who I am. I am acceptable, lovable, and Divinely inspired. This is the truth of my being, and I accept it as so. All is well in my world.” –Louise Hay

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing
Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact her at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

Things to think about...

Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention?

If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it will help get you out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing
LeToya

Part 3: Who am I? How to Define Ourselves

How to Define Ourselves

Dear Friend,

This is a series of exercises that touch basis on January 2012 Post so if you are new to this site please go back in read the January 2012 post before completing any of these exercises.

Last month we touch basis on who you are, what you want, our choices to create our worlds begin with our thoughts and how to love and approve of ourselves. Well this month I would like to discuss the meaning of Who Am I and how to obtain the right self esteem a little bit deeper in order to move forward in being our true selves. You will need a journal or notebook to complete the exercises for this months post.

Life finds its course when you allow your spirit to guide you. If we are willing to let go in go with the flow of life our spirit will guide us away from problems, bad relationships, doubts, and insecurities, and toward more loving and positive experiences.

That does not mean we will not experience evil of adversity of life. Sorry my friend there is certain adversity we all must experience designed for our individual life path in order for our soul to perfect.

What I am saying is when life has given you more than you can handle, it is because you have not released control. When you do not understand what will fulfill you, you have not let go. When life seems overwhelming and like too much to bear, you have not let go. Instead, you have let the chaos of the world surround you and define who you are rather than you going with the flow in walking the path of who you were meant to be.

There is a point in your life when you will have to make a choice to be a conscious participant in your life. This means that you allow yourself to live in love. You move away from all fear and slowly embrace love until it covers your entire life.

Sometimes a person might put you down in order to elevate his self worth and sometimes a person might attack you in order to appear superior in front of others. This is all part of life don’t let this type of behavior upset you. Instead move away from all fear and slowly embrace love until it covers your entire life.

Adversity in life does not define who we are. Love is what we are here for. Love is what we are meant to experience. Choose to take control of your life. In taking control, you are letting go of the approval of others. In taking control of your life, you define how you behave, think, who comes into your life and who must go. You decide how life is going to fulfill you. It’s all a choice. Either live in love or live under other people approval. What do you really want?

In your journal, I want you to answer a couple of questions. In our society most people define themselves by the type of career they have. When someone meet you the first thing they ask is, “What do you do?” Like this is the only statement in the world.

I would like to clear this misconception up right now, your career or how much money you have does not define you. Instead, we should ask others, “How are you doing today? Or, how do you feel? This type of statement relates to our spiritual point of view and how our inner self feels.

The Earth realm operates in a “doing” mentality, the spiritual realm operates in a “being” mentality, so we become condition to identify ourselves by things that we do rather than who we are or how we feel.

So, I’m asking you today, “How do you define your self?”

1. Describe yourself. Include the reasons that you are the person you say you are.
2. What do you love about yourself?
3. What brings you joy?
4. When you go to sleep at night, what do you wish for?
5. How do you feel about your overall appearance?

Every morning most of us take something for grated as we inhale and exhale, we never appreciate the strength of our lungs, the legs that carry us and the body that holds and protect our spirits.

We never appreciate the capability of our body to carry us forward, to help us become aware, think and feel. Instead, we assume that these will be handled naturally. In order to appreciate something, you must start by appreciating your self.

You must release yourself from being anxious and worrying about other people opinions of you. You must stop, embrace and love who you are. Learn to love and accept yourself today my friend. Learn to define who you truly are and accept it in your own divine right.

“Life changes when you commit to doing what is necessary to create a life you love.”
-LeToya White

Affirm: I will love the life I live!!!
-LeToya White

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing
Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact her at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

Things to think about...

Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention?

If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.
Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it will help get you out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing
LeToya

How to Be More Self Confident

Dear Friend,

Self confidence is all about trusting your abilities, skills, and mind or even looks depending on the situation you are facing. Below are ways to be more self confident.
Emphasize Strengths. Give yourself credit for everything you try. By focusing on what you can do, you applaud yourself for efforts rather than emphasizing on what you can’t do.

Take Risks. Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to win or lose. This means getting out your comfort zone-nothing can manifest inside your comfort zone. Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase your sense of self-acceptance. Not doing so turns every possibility into an opportunity for failure, and inhibits personal growth.

Use Self-Talk. Use self-talk as an opportunity to counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to & quotstop” and substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that you can’t do everything perfectly, that it’s only possible to try to do things and to try to do them well.

This allows you to accept yourself while still striving to improve. This is the only way to overcome fear of failure get out make a mistake and then learn from it. Now you have awareness of what not to do. It’s not failing its risk taking and learning how to do something correctly.

Self-Evaluate. Learn to evaluate yourself independently. Doing so allows you to avoid the constant sense of turmoil that comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of others. You must convince yourself that you are worthy. It does not matter what anyone else thinks.

Overall, focusing internally on how you feel about your own behavior, work, etc. will give you a stronger sense of self and will prevent you from giving your personal power away to others.

Affirm: “I am confident and I choose to live joyously and move forward”
- LeToya White

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing
Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact her at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

Things to think about...

Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention?
If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.

Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it will help get you out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!

Love and Blessing
LeToya

The Importance of Self Confidence

Dear Friend,

After working with many clients I have learned an important life lesson. Most of the time, people are worried about looking bad in front of others. This is a major reason why many people can not express their true selves. During my graduated program I learned that “Rejection” is the number one fear. There are several reasons for this. The main cause is not to look incompetent in front of others. Deep down everyone’s heart desires is to feel important and good enough. Therefore they fear rejection.

In short there is a cure. Learning how to love yourself and become self confident. Our spirits are already confident yet we live through our ego the fearful side of us which cause us to experience low confidence and lack of self worth. Like everything else in life self confidence is a state of mind. Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations.

Most people who want to build self confidence do the mistake of focusing on the traits they want to avoid instead of focusing on the traits they want to acquire. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan, and expect.

People who are not self-confident depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They tend to avoid taking risks because they fear failure. They generally do not expect to be successful. They often put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them.

When the subconscious mind finds that someone is thinking of something all the time it starts to help them reach it even if it was something negative!! By focusing on the negative things those entity find themselves moving towards the behavior they want to avoid. This is why I explained last month to which your thoughts and action because they create our worlds.

On the other hand self-confident people are willing to risk the disapproval of others because they generally trust their own abilities. They tend to accept themselves; they don’t feel they have to conform in order to be accepted.

The bottom line is you must learn how to become confident in order to truly live out the life of WHO YOU ARE!!!

Until Next time my friend!!!

Love and Blessing
Your Friend,

LeToya

LeToya White is the founder of The Light of Day, INC. a research center that develops personal development and life tools that help people overcome the adversity of life. If you have moved to a new city…don't know many people, don’t have any friends, are stuck in a rut, feel trapped, performance is trending low, lost your drive for life, or have insecurities please feel free to contact her at lightofdayinc@yahoo.com for a free consultation.

Things to think about...

Life will always have challenges just remember this too shall pass. Your ultimate goals and objectives you have set out for your life resolves around your fears, anxiety or low self-confidence. Do you have a sense for which one of these may be causing the hiccups you mention?

If so you have the first step to getting out of your rut.
Many of my clients respond to their problem with this statement, “Every time I say to myself I need to make a change, it always backfires and I end up going one step forward, 500 steps back.”

Do you feel this way, if so you are not alone!

The truth is when you get the feelings that your goals are impossible to reach, do you believe it has to do with the goals you have selected or with uncertainties/fears/negative challenges that impact your belief that you will get there?

When this happens you need to try harder to put yourself in situations that will create opportunity of change. Not only will doing something for change and the enjoyment of it will help get you out of your mental rut; it will give you a new opportunity to form relationships and friends… breaking down your fear boosting self confidence are all supported by the willingness to change.

I look forward from hearing from you!!!
Love and Blessing
LeToya